Weekend round up
Another cracking weekend in the Premier League saw Manchester City fall nine points behind Man United in the title race, a gap which is now wide enough to drive a space shuttle through, now that space shuttles don't fly anymore they just get put on the back of trucks and moved about a bit.
Our favourite goal of the weekend has to be Steven Gerrard's half-volley to give Liverpool the lead at the Etihad, which was a strike reminiscent of the one he hit in the Champions League that time - you know the one - the one where Andy Gray screamed "Aaaaaaahhh you beauty!!!", ensuring that he was hated by Evertonians and Man United fans everywhere. As opposed to now, when only female lineswomen and everyone in the world hate him.
West Brom's Goran Popov got our award for 'moment of the weekend that made us feel sick' when he did his best impression of a llama and got sent off for spitting 'in the general direction' of Tottenham's Kyle Walker in the 1-0 home defeat by Spurs. Maybe he just had some spinach stuck in his teeth. Ah no that's Popeye.
Meanwhile Arsenal scraped past Stoke courtesy of a massively deflected free-kick from Lukas Podolski, but all we could think about with tears coming out of our eyes was Ryan Shawcross' X-rated tackle on Laurent Koscielny, that will leave the Arsenal defender with a couple of mashed potatoes to say the least. To say the most, his balls will have stud marks on them FOREVER.
Aston Villa battled to a 3-3 draw with Everton, a game which they would have won before Marouane Fellaini's hair went crazy and jumped off his head and scored two goals apart from the one that he got with his foot, and Andy Carroll continued his red-hot two goals in seven months scoring streak to give West Ham a much needed home win against Swansea.
Finally Wayne Rooney showed just how RUBBISH Robin Van Persie is by scoring the winner against Fulham - after all Van Persie has now not scored for two games in a row, which means United should sell him and he's only worth about a million pounds and maybe some tracksuits.
