Profile | Whatever | MyNuts | nuts.co.uk

About me:

I have no soul. I am filled with pot pourri. I poop pure heroin. I was once Rod Stewart. I was born twice, once in 1985 and again in 1987. I have never been a fishmonger. I went to Croydon on a train once. I dislike corporal punishment. I appreciate light spanking. I have no attention span. Curtains.

My three wishes:

1. To spend one day being normal and not having psychotic thought patterns. Just one day.
2. To succeed. At anything. At something.
3. To buy a Slow Norris and keep it as my baby.

Favourite Tipple:

The blood of virgins. Or something alcoholic. Swings and roundabouts.

Favourite music:

Rock hurrah.

Favourite film:

I refuse to choose as is my right as a woman. Go Mrs Pankhurst.

Favourite TV:

The one in my living room.

Favourite boozer:

The Robin Hood, The Tontine or The Queens Arms. Giros at the ready.

Favourite club:

A mallet

Favourite place:

Anywhere except the deep chasm of doom that so often consumes me. The pub, for example.

Likes:

Jamie, the boy child, random sporadic things that make no sense, bunnies and kittens and Gary G Sand

Dislikes:

Pretentious lapdancers

Starsign:

Leo

Who I'd like to meet:

My future self.

Superpower I'd like to have:

The power not to ramble incoherently.

What song best describes me:

Vacant - Sex Pistols